Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Did I show you my penis last night?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
MIDGETS
????
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
