If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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