If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
