You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
