At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
