Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
