why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
