Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize