It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
