Have you finally orgasmed yet?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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