She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize