can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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