I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
