That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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