Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
