I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
