hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
