well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize