If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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