You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
