Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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