ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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