the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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