she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize