i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Soap is not a condiment
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
