fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
