i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
