I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
