I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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