Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
