Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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