It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
