U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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