there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
