What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
