Hey man sorry I got all grabby
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
