She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
