i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
