where am i from again
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
