We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize