please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She bit a glass in half.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
