So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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