Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
