idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
