I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
