She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
