Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
