it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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