dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
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