so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
