The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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