someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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