I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
