I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
