thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
