a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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