Cold hands, warm shart.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
