first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Someone signed my nipple.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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