I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
