Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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