ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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