I got chris browned last night
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
