the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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