I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
