Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
