So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
