I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
