Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
