that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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