Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
