you win again, gameday.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
