It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
