I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
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I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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