you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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